I have been “accused” to be a thinker rather than a doer. i pledge “guilty”.
I started this week my new adventure towards trying to have a second baby. Actually, the adventure started a long time ago but the chapter concerning doctors, medical exams and having second thoughts began on monday.
I know that those among you who passed by the same thing, are having this forced smile on their face and this overwhelming feel in their soul and the same questioning I am having just now: if the decision of having a child demands such actions from a woman (and a man), where do we find all the necessary courage to take the first step (and the ones that follow) from the simple thought of it to actually doing it??!
I am a thinker and a feeler and what I am thinking and feeling right now towards this experience is a mix of apprehension and hope. I know what it is like to be a mom, and for me it was (and still is everyday) a life changing experience, the most beautiful yet the most hard one to live. I am asking myself: why would I want to go through “the same most beautiful yet the most hard” experience again?
I have since the beginning of the week 25 questions like that one and I will spare you the torture of reflecting upon all of them!! But what I am actually saying is that between thought and action there is a million mind blooming questions to be answered. Should I wait till all my questions are answered or should I take a hysterosalpingography appointment for tomorrow??